Heather's 2014 academically

"Used to be a major scale
But the melody went stale,
Musical cacophony let
Insy Winsy spider free.

[...]

Could never tell you what happened
The day I turned seventeen,
The rise of a king and the fall of a queen,
Oh, seventeen,
Seventeen."

"Seventeen" - Marina And The Diamonds

 

It was actually harder than that...

If someone asked me how 2014 would be in 2013, I would have answered it could never ever get worse so 2014 had to be better... Well, no. I could never imagine what was waiting for me after that innocent first term when I first failed a subject: Geography, concretely.

So that hopeful new year started actually quite well: it seemed I was going to fix my year and end up 3rd of ESO like a pro... Nothing further from reality: that second term brought me an even more complicated situation with two failed subjects: even though I had retaken Geography, Catalan and P.E. were now trying to make me give up and actually doing so, as it was proven in the third term, when Geography, Arts and P.E. sent me to retakes in September.

So the nice part of 2014 started for me in June. Holidays, sun, beaches, some retake homework; basically, summer. But that summer was actually good: though I couldn't use computers, I spent really good moments with my Wii and I actually discovered doing homework CAN be nice! I must confess most "My World" entries on this blog come from thoughts from the so mentioned summer.

After those three months of finetune.com (which has unfortunately stopped working) for Wii, Geography homework and plastic arts a new hope shined beyond my eyes: 4th of ESO! That was my chance! So it was a really good first term, full of great moments with old and new friends and... this blog! It was all perfect, everything was going awesome... until that week... Yeah, the first week of December completely wrecked the last shards of academic self esteem I had, and I actually ended up failing Spanish and Catalan.

But now I know what I can do to avoid this happening again: now I know the price of my mistakes and where they come from. I WILL end up 4th of ESO like the pro I really am and nothing is going to keep me from doing so!

A little bit of Spanish History for proud Spanish people

[AUDIO COULD NOT BE FOUND]

"You say that love is not that easy
And that’s the lesson that you teach me
So hypocritical, overly cynical
I’m sick and tired of all your preaching"

"Hypocrates" - Marina And The Diamonds
 

It's not really rare to hear stupidities such as "Spain has been a really great nation until the 2008 crisis!" from people who can't really look beyond their nose. OK, it is true that Spain used to culturally destroy regions all over the world, but it doesn't really mean it was a "great nation". No, it has never been good as a nation: culturally, even America is far beyond Spain, and TV shows it quite well; nowadays, success in Spain is equal to dumbness and... overall, being a scumbag.

But let's focus on the twentieth century: Spain has suffered the most absurd dictatorship ever, established by the least charismatic being ever... which was FORTY YEARS LONG! Wow, next time this happens, let's let them rape our country a little bit longer, okay?

Can I puke already?

And people still forget the most funny parts! Did you know a nuclear bomb was thrown during that period? Yes, it's referred as The 1966 Palomares B-52 Crash, an "error" committed by the U.S. Air Force which led a nuke to be dropped near Murcia; an accident, of course! IT WAS NOT MADE TO SCARE ANY DICTATOR, NO, IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT! And everyone believed that and actually forgot it! Yay! The funniest part of all of it was by far when Spanish politicians bathed in Palomares to show people there was no danger (and THEY WERE NOT FORCED BY ANYONE, OF COURSE!)... By the way, that has NO RELATIONSHIP with radioactivity found in waters and fields in Murcia decades later!

OK, but the sixties and Franco are quite far from today, aren't they? Let's move to the 80's, concretely to 1983. From the mentioned year to 1987 Spain had a fun fun thing called Grupos Antiterroristas de Liberación or GAL, groups of para-policemen committing terrorism themselves to "stop the terrorists of ETA", led by the PSOE (the two most popular political parties in Spain are assassins, deal with it) and financed by important officials within the Spanish Interior Ministry.

Source: Wikipedia (CLICK TO EXTEND)

And, once again, there's a political background behind these facts: terrorism was just an excuse, all they wanted to erase was Basque nationalist activism. Shame on you, PSOE.

But this is not really related to today, is it? Well, after the mentioned PSOE legislature, a PP (aka. children of Franco) legislature came out with a man called Aznar. What this man did was basically raising the housing bubble higher and higher so it could explode in the next president's face. And it did; in 2004, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, from PSOE, got covered with Aznar's sh*t and, a few years later, BOOM! CRISIS! And that's basically the reason why we're how we are right now, heh.

It is true that 1966 is the furthest I can rewind (my sources are limited!), but I wonder what would happen if someone spent some time on collecting and writing these things since much earlier... It would be very funny, I'm sure.

We live in Europe's stinky belly button, deal with it.

Is gender necessary?

"Well I, I wanna tell you a secret
You can take your double standard love and keep it"

"Hermit The Frog" - Marina And The Diamonds
 

So far, I've written about male and female stereotypes (entry about this) and the great fault in usual female behavior when it comes to relationships (entry about this). But, what's the origin of all these problems? Do we really need to separate between men and women? Well, I would say no: nowadays, we've got so many alternatives that make biologically straight pairs useless; when we fall in love with someone we do it because of a person, not because of a man or a woman.

But, then, why have we spent more than fifty centuries conserving that useless division? Regardless of religious issues during History, the most evident reason why we cut our society in between two genders is the domination of one of them. In modern times, the most common situation (and pretty much the only one, to be
honest) is the ownage men do on women, giving to half of population some kind of privilege but also chains and figurated prisons to the other half.

And, eventually, women opened those prisons!

Luckily, since the nineteenth century, women started to push the walls of those prisons and set themselves free progressively. That's why I'm totally sure the division between men and women is not benefitting anyone anymore, so, why don't we just erase it from society? It's good for nothing and it hurts half of the world's population. What if I like a diva's dress and I want to wear it along with my male attributes? Is it a crime? Of course it isn't my case, I just want to get rid of those attributes, but I'm sure you understand my point: there is no such situation as one where gender stereotypes are useful or good: if you truly loved your lover, you wouldn't care about their sex or gender (which is NOT the same, since gender is a social construction while sex is a biological truth).

That's why, here and now, I want to say: I am NOT A TRANSGENDER, I am TRANSSEXUAL. I don't care about my gender anymore, I don't want to belong to the female gender since the female gender is a social deillusion. I just want to be a sexually female being: I'm talking about sex, not gender; sex is having a vag*na while gender is being one.

[Christmas Special] Soft Sell and Hard Sell

"Primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world
I can't help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall

[...]

Would you do anything for me?
Buy a big diamond ring for me?"

"Primadonna" - Marina And The Diamonds
  

For today's task, since it's the last English blog session before Christmas holidays, we've been asked to do a Christmas special. Concretely, we had to look up for the difference between soft sell and hard sell (which are marketing techniques) and examples (ads) for each.

Soft sell is considered to be the kind of advertising which uses friendly, subtle or casual sales messages, leading to a less conditioning way of publicity. It's also considered the most effective way of persuasion, since it's been proven that costumers feel so much less irritated than with hard sell.

Hard sell, as an opposition to soft sell, is the kind of advertising which uses a direct, forceful and evident sales message, which has been proven to be more likely to irritate costumers.

 Here are some examples, one for each concept:

I would say this is quite a good example of a Christmas ad using hard sell, since the publicised product is shown since the start of the advertisement and is seen several times during its progress.

Though Christmas is not explicitly a topic of this advert, I would say it is a good example of a Christmas ad using soft sell. Not only because funny stuff just can't be as irritating as hard sell publicity, but also because the product (in this case, the institution) is not shown until the end.

Why do men cheat on women?

"Who are those great looking dolls?
It's quick curl Barbie and mod hair Ken
But what do I do with my old Barbie?
Su-Barbie-A
Su-Barbie-A
(Oh Yeah) Su-Barbie-A
If you're going to tell me you don't like this dress
I'm sticking my head right in the oven"

"Part 5: SU-Barbie-A" - Marina And The Diamonds

There isn't any possibility for someone to do something as wrong as cheating on their pair without any reason or excuse, so I've been thinking: do wives and girlfriends do something that repulses husbands and boyfriends? Well, every person is completely different, but I can see some similarities on cheated wives and girlfriends' way to act in pair, so I would say they do.

To understand this, we need to take a look at genre stereotypes (entry about this): we've reached a point in which housewives are just trying to be likable to their man, objectifying themselves and becoming less of a person, getting friendless and staying all day at home.

When a man is looking for a woman, he's obviously looking for a person, someone in the same level to share their lives with. So once he's dealing with an object, then, there are two possibilities: him using that object, which leads to mistreating and gender abuse, or him getting frustrated, trying to make his woman happier to personify her and, if that doesn't work, forsaking her and looking for a true person. Both cases, unless the second one works, lead to cheating.

What I mean with this entry is that, if girls are really looking for a boy to share their lives together, they shouldn't be getting themselves below their boyfriend or husband: they have to be as independent as their man is, having their own lives and enjoying their own moments. It's the only way to make a man happy: if he truly loves you, he will only be happy if you are, and being an object will only get you depressed and suicidal.

XP 3D and... hype

"Hollywood infected your brain
You wanted kissing in the rain
Living in a movie scene
Puking american dreams"
"Hollywood" - Marina And The Diamonds

For this task, I'm publishing here what I said in the oral presentation about my favourite horror movie:

Slide 1 - Presentation

Hi! As most of you already know, I'm Heather and I'm here to speak about my favourite horror movie. As I said several times earlier during this project, I don't really like horror films, and the one I'm talking about today is not an exception.

The movie I'm referring to is called XP, or XP 3D. It's a Spanish movie which came out in 2012. It had an enormous hype back then, and everyone spent a lot of money on it... Luckily, it was completely forgotten within less than seven months (or even less than that).

Slide 2 - Plot

The movie is about a group of university students who, even though they are studying science, decide to explore a forsaken place because of some paranormal "facts" which had taken place there.

All of this gets messed up when an hypnosis made by the ugliest one of the boys (yes, that is important) is tested on one of the girls (the most known of the actresses, of course). Then said girl starts to see a professor of the university doing not-really-kind things.

Slide 3 - Why did I like the movie?

Oh, that's very simple: I didn't. As a Spanish movie, it shows the kind of crap Spain is able to do when a cinema executive is farting hard enough: it's just based in gore, distasteful scenes and incredibly avoidable situations. I would swear a huge part of my brain died during the movie, which was not precisely short.

I was SO glad she was dead...

Slide 4 - Favourite moment

My favourite moment from all of the movie is, by far, the death of Belén. That c*nt needed to die somehow, she was just there because of her... attributes, and she didn't do absolutely anything good apart from wearing tight clothes and trying to copulate indirectly with the most stereotyped actor.

She just decided to go alone, so she deserved it.

[Questionnaire] The Comic Relief

"I was so cruel
(He was so kind)
Why did I feel I had to leave you behind?
(But he was so sweet)"

"Why did you stay?" - The Pipettes

So, like in the previous three questionnaires, this task belongs to the study of the history of horror. This one in particular, deals about something about modern horror movies: the Comic Relief. A Comic Relief is a funny moment inside a tension scene. Here is the questionnaire for today:

1→ What is the comic relief?
A comic relief is a funny moment put in a tension scene to relieve the viewers' feeling of fear.

2→ Why is it often used in horror films?
Because otherwise horror movies would get viewers distressed and they wouldn't sell as they do.

3→ Do you remember laughing in horror films? Can you think of an example?
I honestly never laughed in horror movies. Actually, I got really surprised when I heard about the existence of comic reliefs in class.

"Oh, No!"

 

"Don't do love

Don't do friends

I'm only after success

[...]

I know exactly what I wanna do, I wanna be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh!"

"Oh, No!" - Marina And The Diamonds

Marina And The Diamonds's examples of what not to be are by far my favourite inspiration for my blog, so I never keep myself from using one of her songs to write an entry about some typical teen situation or some stereotype/archetype (mostly inspired by ♥ Electra Heart ♥). The thing is that I found myself in an existential need of sharing one of those songs just because i liked it, without getting into society's crap, insensitive stereotyped males (entry about this) and fear and misconception of others' opinions (entry about this).

This concrete song, called "Oh, No!", belongs to Marina's debut album The Family Jewels (2010). It was released as the album's fourth single on August 2nd, 2010. Its lyrics deal about a girl who, carried by TV and idealisation of reality, goes far from real life to get a feelingless success, hiding her lacks and insecurities and avoiding human relations in order to get to the social media stereotype of the successful aggressive insensitive business woman.
 

The reason why I firstly liked this song is its videoclip: Marina looks like a diva! Her dresses, the choreography and the special effects are simply gorgeous; I think it's one of the fanciest music videos ever! Even though, I must say that, with or without the videoclip, it is one of my favourite songs!

  

You can look up the lyrics here.

Males and items, the archetypes

"Girls and their curls and their gourmet vomit
Boys and their toys and their six inch rockets"

"Homewrecker" - Marina And The Diamonds
 

Yesterday I was watching some kind of Spanish sitcom (that was quite one of the reasons to say "Spanish things suck") called La Que Se Avecina. Just don't watch it. EVER. The thing is that I saw a really annoying stereotype in it: a retard ape, called Amador, was trying to mate with some female apes (like in almost every single chapter of the sitcom), encouraged by his friends (all of them were males, of course) while his wife was concerned about how much Amador loved her. What a wonderful truth of society: if the woman was the one trying to fuck, she would be called a bitch... and she was, indeed, when once she cheated on her husband!

.

But, by far, the worst part of gender stereotypes is how it makes all males exactly the same. Boys have forgotten they have to cry and show their emotions, and that made them really less likable to girls! Can't they see? What a girl looks for in a boy is someone who understands her, who has the same feelings that her! Of course, insensitive boys get sex, but there's no way they get true love, because there's no way they're showing it to their pairs, so all they are going to get is someone with a broken heart who truly loved them and was actually destroyed by their inability to show any feeling!
 

An example of musclegut. Art by Grisser

And they will keep following the stereotype like sheep because they are naive enough to think every girl likes the same (no, sweetie, I'm a girl and I like males with big bellies, and I am not the only one)! Every time I see the typical Facebook photo of a skinny (not necessarily sexy) girl with a chubby boyfriend it is followed by comments as beautiful and lovely as "she loves him for his money" or "she's just a bitch, she doesn't even like him"... Well, I just can't conceive how someone can like skinny guys: hugging someone that hard is just like embracing a pole so, tell me, why would I want a skinny guy if I have a nice streetlight just in front of my house? I want to present you another kind of guy: it's called musclegut, and it consists of a boy with enormous arm muscles and a big belly. I personally call these men Epic legendary huggers and, believe me, I can't conceive how someone can like better any other kind of man (lucky we are, of likes diversity, though!).

But... Hey, wait! Don't you think girls are better than boys in a single point! See, I'm SO TIRED of women trying to be liked by men as a major goal! Half of females is trying to get rights and get to the same point of men... while the other half is full of sexual items proud of being so! Girls don't seem to want their brains and hearts to be recognised, they just wear the most revealing clothes they can, shake their "booties" for the boys and judge each other; that's not a brained woman, that's a barbie for some guy to take and replace!
 

Take a look at an ancient sexual female stereotype!

And, of course, girls have the same exact problem with physical stereotypes: why do they think every guy likes the same? It is not even biologically logical! Just look at the female anatomy: they are not meant to be skinny as society teaches them to be, sheesh! They aren't even meant to be skinny at all!
 

I find stereotypes awful, and I find people following them even more awful. There's no way I'm changing my point of view about it.
 

Get real bodies, males, soft ones.

[Questionnaire] Suspense

"I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothing
Well, that's nothing"

"The Monster" - Eminem feat. Rihanna
 

As you could see in the last questionnaire, we're studying the history of horror stories and movies from its origin, the Gothic Novel. Today we had to answer another questionnaire, this time about Suspense movies and Alfred Hitchcock. What I know so far about this director is not precisely good: he was obsessed with blonde girls, and he destroyed an actress's career because she didn't want to be his item... Anyway, here are the questions for today:
 

1→ Who's the director of this movie Psycho?

Alfred Hitchcock.

2→ What kind of characters did he often use in horror movies?

 The archetype of the madman who thinks he's sane is really common in Hitchcock's filmography.

3→ What techinque did he use with the camera?

It's said that Hitchcock's best contribution to the genre was a kind of subjective shot taken from the character's perspective.

[Questionnaire] The psychological horror story: Edgar Allan Poe

"Black cat, nine lives
Short days ,long nights
[...]
Better watch your step
Or you're gonna die"

"Black Cat" - Janet Jackson

Following the history of horror stories, after the Gothic Novels, we find the Psychological Horror Stories and theiir founder, Edgar Allan Poe. The questionnaire/task for today was this one:

1→ What is the story of tell-tale heart about?

It's about a madman who killed the old man he was taking care of because he wore a glass eye that made the madman distressed. After the murder, the heartbeat of the dead man revealed the crime to the Police.

2→ Who wrote the tell-tale heart and invented the first macabre stories?

Edgar Allan Poe.

3→ What was the first Psychological Horror Story?

The Tell-Tale Heart.

4→ When was it first published?

It was first published in1843.

5→ What other types did the author also invent?

The Detective Story and the Science Fiction Story.

[Questionnaire] The Gothic Novel

"Seven devils all around me!
Seven devils in my house!
See they were there when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in your house
See I was dead when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done"

"Seven Devils" - Florence + The Machine

 

For the task of today, we had to look for information about the Gothic Novel in a webpage (here) and answer some questions. The Gothic Novel was quite a really dark and interesting kind of story (just as dark and interesting as modern goths are). So here are the questions:

1→ Who invented the Gothic Novel?
Horace Walpole.

2→ What was the first Gothic Novel?
The Castle of Otranto.

3→ When was it first published?
In the year 1764.

4→ Which basic elements of horror didn't you include in your list? 
To be sincere, pretty much every single one of them: setting in a castle; an atmosphere of mystery and suspense; an ancient prophecy; omens, portents, visions; high, or even overwrought emotion; women in distress; women threatened by a powerful, impulsive, tyrannical male; the metonymy of gloom and horror and the vocabulary of the gothic.

Is my dream possible?

"I'm a science genius girl

I won the science fair

I wear a white lab coat

DNA strands in my hair"

"Science Genius Girl" - Freezepop

Most people assume their dreams are too far fetched, and I'm afraid my dreams are as well.

I know I can't achieve all my dreams, all I can do is fight for half of them (Music or Chemistry) and watch the rest flow in front of my eyes. But there are some dreams i can fulfil regardless of which career I choose! I can get rid of my social phobia (though that's pretty hard being a mole), I can be a pretty girl (though I'll have to wait for that) and I can meet interesting people sharing my likes (though I'd need to fulfil the previous two

to do that), so I'm not getting bored of my life. EVER.

Even though my role model is a singer, my capacities and my heart tell me to be a "science genius girl", and that's what I'm going to be. I guess "Popstar Heathah" is not existing... ever.

Fear and Loathing

"Don't wanna live in fear and loathing
I wanna feel like I am floating
Instead of constantly exploding
In fear and loathing"

"Fear and Loathing" - Marina and The Diamonds

Just a few weeks ago, if someone had asked me for the worst error a teenager can commit, I would have said it is to be oneself. I had heard a lot of people say "Just be yourself" with a smile like they said something right, and I only wanted to kick them all in their faces. All I knew and all I had learnt from high school was that if I was myself, people was going to judge me and be repulsed by me.

It's just that when you commit an error, when you do something "not socially accepted", or even when you are kind when someone "weird", you really get to think you become the weirdo and you really get yourself in fear of other people's opinions. I had a theory: "Society is divided in three groups: girls (50% of society), stupid boys (24'99% of society), homosexual boys (25% of society) and exceptions (0'01% of society).", and I would really swear it was true. If I have to be sincere, I must admit when I think about that theory I notice the figures are totally crazy: of course there are a lot of "stupid boys" but, luckily, there are a lot of exceptions as well (actually, I was being quite unfair to think every single gay man is not a twat, wasn't I?)!

But the positive truth comes when one makes the step to ask sincerely about other people's opinions about oneself. That is when you get to know who are the stupid boys, which are quite a lot, but you get to know a lot of exceptions as well and, guess what: most males are exceptions... so they're actually not exceptions! The worst of all is that when you ask a stupid boy for some reason why you're "bad", "sick" or "weird", you notice how right you are being who you are. But the best thing is that you get to discover that, after all, you have real friends that won't judge you negatively.

Of course, this all gets wrong when your way to be makes you tend to hurt others pointlessly. Then your goal should be to change that way to a more positive one for you and the people of your environment.

The point of all this is that, even if you're the least common person in the whole world, you only get a really little number of "haters" and they aren't even right, so take your fear of opinions off and enjoy the admiration true people shows to you for daring to be yourself.

Multiple Intelligences (and how I blow at some of them)

"Scientific method girl

The theorems speak to me" 
"Science Genius Girl" - Freezepop

Back to Internet tests, our English task today was taking this one. It's about multiple intelligences related to some things we like to do or are good at. I know my capacities and I know which types of intelligences are most present in me: Logical Intelligence should be the highest, followed by Intrapersonal Intelligence and Musical Intelligence. Even though, I consider I'm also good at what Naturalistic and Visual/Spatial Intelligences refer to, since I draw quite often and what I draw requires some knowledge on animal and human anatomies. However, I don't really think that conditions my personality so I don't get how this test is going to be right...

Anyway, let's see my results:

• Linguistic. That's one of my potential abilities, though not the best. I'm good at... Greek.
• Logical. To raise my auto-esteem, when I'm feeling down, my brother usually calls me "Science Genius Girl"... And, hell yeah, he's right! I totally agree with this chart, I love to solve mathematical and scientific problems and I'm actually good at it!
• Interpersonal. Jeez... It's true, I blow at interpersonal relationships, that's why I'm usually taken as a weirdo... So I guess the chart is right again.
• Intrapersonal. Well, I guess the chart got it again. I spend most of my time with myself, so I got to have a lot of this Intelligence.
• Musical. Oh, come on! My Musical Intelligence being as much as my Kinaesthetic one would be a quite legitimate justification to commit suicide, especially when I hate sports and I would want to become a singer, don't you think? This drives me crazy...
• Visual/Spatial. I guess I agree with this one as well. I'm getting better every day at drawing, but I sill got so much to improve! My drawings still have no background (XD), so that's still low as an Intelligence.

  

  The intention was to draw him making pushups, but legs look terribly off so he's flying (XD)!

• Naturalistic. OH, THANKS! My 9 in Biology is fake, I get it! So are my 9 in Nature in 1st of ESO and my other high marks in Biology and Geology in general!... Seriously, are you kidding me? I may not know the names of some plants and birds, but I comprehend what they are made of and I'm good at Biology in general... But I guess all that the test contemplated was practical investigation of the environment, and not remembering data from books like I do, so maybe it's right.
• Kinaesthetic. I never do sports, I only move if it's compulsory, I fail P.E... This results on me should not be legal.

The Animal In Me

We've all seen one of those Internet tests with some eye-catching title like "Which Mythological Creature are you?"... Well, I'm sure they are the best for bored teenagers without nothing else to do that will forget the results after posting them on Facebook or Twitter but I never really believed in those.

The thing is that, in an English class, the task was to do one of those tests (called "The Animal In You") which calls itself "The Most Accurate Personality Test on the Web" (that is NOT pretentious at all!), and the results were... disturbing? Well, here are the results for me of The Most Accurate Personality Test on the Web (sure).

So, I'm a...

...Mole

Careers and Hobbies

Engineering · Songwriting · Grave Digger · Researching · Music · Poetry · Coffeshops · Designing

• Songwriting/Music. You bet! That's what I want to be, a singer-songwriter! Yay!
• Researching. Well, that's something I like as well. My first thought about future careers was Chemistry, but if I have to choose between music and science, I really don't know what to choose...
• Grave Digger. Everyone loves this, some just won't admit.
• Poetry. I guess songwriting is a way of making poetry after all, so yes.
• Designing. I like to draw, but I'm sure there's a huge difference between drawing musclegut furries and designing clothes, buildings, and all those things...

Overview (most relevant points)

I feel... offended. Cute, though.

"They have pasty complexions and are usually seen in late night coffee shops, jazz bars or underground clubs."
 The only right thing here is that I have pasty complexions. I just hate to go outside home at night... and I don't really like jazz (except when it comes to Katie Melua, then I love it). 

"Passive and unassertive, they prefer to retreat at the first sign of confrontation and would rather run than take physical action."
 I guess I'll have to agree with that one. I really prefer non-confrontational ways of doing things.

"Moles have extremely sharp minds and are excellent problem solvers. As reflected in their determined burrowing through difficult terrain, moles prefer solutions with straight lines rather than having to go around problems."
 Hell, yeah. My science marks can be a good check for that one.

So... I guess that test is pretty accurate, but not 100%... For sure.

My Hero

 "Come meet me in the sky I'll be waiting for you
And we can't hear what they say
Up in my air balloon, air balloon, air balloon, hah
Sing, sing along, along any song you want to
Now we're so high, it can't rain
Up in my air balloon, air balloon, air balloon, hah, hah"

"Air Balloon" - Lily Allen

Lily Allen has been my hero since I knew about her existence, and that was 2006. The main reason why I admire her is because she's not afraid to express her thoughts without euphemisms or funnels, she's just sincere (though also really cynical in some cases). I also look up to her because she has been through really hard situations (such as a failed pregnancy) without losing her smile: she has shown me that you have to overcome those problems and not just cry about them.

The most evident reason why I want to be like Lily Allen (not only because she's pretty) is because she works in music industry, and I want to become a singer when I get the body I belong to. I also want to express myself and my thoughts/opinions in my songs, just like her.

My Bucket List

"Cause I took a long look at my bucket list
And I saw that at the bottom it said our first kiss
Yeah I took a long look at my bucket list
And I saw that at the bottom it said our first kiss and
Whoa I'm running out of time"

"Bucket List" - Nelly Furtado

.

Everyone has dreams and everyone knows most of their dreams are impossible. I know some of mine are, and I guess it's too pretentious to think i could get them all. Some of my dreams are just impossible for me right now, but I still really wish they were possible and done in a not-so-far future. So, without more delay, here is my bucket list:

My dreams are to...

• Be famous expressing myself, just like Nelly Furtado.
• Spend all of my time with my ideal man (find someone who loves me!).
• Spend a whole day in bed with him.
• Live in Athenes.
• Listen to my own songs on the radio.
• Throw a drink in my P.E. teacher's face!
• Collaborate with Britney Spears and Nelly Furtado in some tour!
• Talk Greek perfectly.
• Attend a furry convention (something tells me I will regret this one).
• Understand Portuguese (some Nelly Furtado's songs feature Portuguese vocals!).
• Be a pretty girl (of course!).
• Be as fancy as Lana Del Rey.
• Dedicate a song to my brother.

Him

"Why carry on without me?"

"Everytime" - Britney Spears

I can perfectly remember how my life finally got a meaning. It was on late February, in 2014. I was playing League of Legends with my brother and some of his friends when He came out.

He was my brother’s boyfriend’s cousin. He used to make jokes about almost everything; sometimes that was such cruel, especially when it came to jokes about other people, but he was still great fun. I don’t know why, but I just felt that I simply agreed with everything he said, even things that would make me angry two hours before. I was… weird.

The next month was just perfect. We spent whole afternoons talking through Facebook. He was usually quite nerdy, he loved computers and videogames, and I liked that. Sometimes, joking, he called me “honey” or “cutie” (he already knew I’m a girl), and I… I was just the happiest being in the world imagining those words could be true in some time.

Days passed, and everything he did was just perfect to me. I checked his Facebook photos… and he was gorgeous! How could someone be so perfect? I just wanted to tell him I loved him, meet him and hug him for hours, because it was so true. But I was really afraid he would sure say “no” and block me. I really thought no one would ever be interested in me…

And the day finally came. It was March 24^th, and I was so nervous I had to lock me in my room for some hours before daring to ask him. But finally, the moment came. I was trembling: what if he said no? It was better to admire him from the distance than to lose him forever…

I dared. I sent him the message. Facebook said “Seen”. He had seen it…

And the moment came out. I was hidden under the computer desk and it sounded like a new message. I was really sure it would be a “WTF don’t talk to me ever again!” or something like that, but I’d never know unless I stood up and saw it… HE FELT THE SAME! Oh, God! It was the best moment in my life, I’m sure of that!

The next month was just perfect. He made me smile every single second. We played League and Ragnarok Online together and, no matter how I’d fail or how we’d lose by my fault, I’d never get stressed because he was there telling me I had played great. We talked through Facebook for hours (and even days when it came to weekends). I used to chat with him when my parents were asleep so they wouldn’t complain, and it was still sweet because his words were just bigger than any fear to get caught. He came to my home once, and I had the two best days of my life with him… I could just die right there, because he was right next to me.

He lived in Barcelona, and I lived far away from him. That distance made me miss him every time. I couldn’t stand school anymore, I just wanted to get home and make him smile telling him that he was perfect and gorgeous, because I loved to tell him the truth.

Once we were talking to a female friend of him through Skype. I was really jealous, because he was calling her “honey” and “cutie” as a joke… but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to get upset. After that I was very sad because he told me that he loved my voice and didn’t want me to stay silent ever again… So I guess I got him upset anyway.

But life was just about to teach me fairytales don’t always have that happy ending everyone thinks about. One day he told me he was going to be without Internet for a month… and I just really wanted to die. He told me that he was afraid of forgetting me, and I told him I was sure he wouldn’t forget me if he truly loved me.

But… he did.

After a month, he came back just to tell me he didn’t want to carry on with our relationship and erase me as a Facebook friend. I just wished I could die. I really wanted to. I spent the next months crying and doing absolutely nothing. I really thought it was my fault because I wasn’t a real girl and I wasn’t good enough for him. I just hoped he would come back and tell me he misses me, because the only thing my heart could say is that if we had felt the same so far, it shouldn’t change. I must confess if I didn’t try to die by myself it was because of that hope…

That never happened.

My brother told me that he had been a moron for leaving me without any reason and that he would never come back because one does not just stops loving, and that meant he didn’t love me at all.

I guess that made me abandon my hopes, but it gave me some auto-esteem because I knew it was not my fault.

It was on late August that I received a message from him. He said he was sorry for leaving me without a reason and… introduced his new girlfriend to me. She was the girl we spoke to through Skype months earlier.

He acted like he was my friend for some days. He seemed full of good intentions but I… I just hated him. I don’t know why. I don’t know how such a positive feeling can get so dirty in just five months… But I just told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and we said goodbye to each other.

I didn't block him... I still wonder why.