My 2015 resolutions

"I wish I had one good reason why
I should stay
How'd I get myself
Into this place?
I wish had qualities like
Sympathy
Fidelity
Sobriety
Sincerity
Humility
Instead I got lunacy"

"Cheryl Tweedy" - Lily Allen

2014 hasn't been a good year whatsoever, and 2015 brings plenty of new possibilities and hopes that I would like to profit! That means a quite big effort from my own... and maybe a little of help from others, but what it sure means is a good year!

So, to make 2015 even more interesting, here's the list of resolutions I want to achieve:

• Gain weigh. I want to be curvy, that's for sure. The huge problem is that, before I start my transition, fat goes to places it shouldn't be! So, for now, it's quite hard to get weigh without getting complexes in the way... So, in order to achieve that, I have some strategies:

Just two years, eigth months and thirteen days!

• The best option to not get complexes from the mirror: not looking at it! So, obviously, I can't get blind every time I'm in front of the mirror, but I can just not pay attention to it. I can do nothing to help how my body distributes my fat right now, so maybe the best option is to ignore the issue until I can actually help it.

• Waiting would help too. Maybe I should just admit I can't achieve this in 2015... actually, not until late 2017! So perhaps I'll just not gain until I get that beauty-beauty Meghan Trainor deals about in "All About That Bass"...

• The fastest but hardest and most harsh one: getting over it! I can't just think about the bad side of things and ignore the good one because I'll get neurotic sooner or later in life, I have to ignore the bad side and get all these things over with!

• Stop trying to make others happy. To be happy with my social identity, I have to make sure I get assertive. My way of relating so far, based on passivity and self-slavery for the sake of my friends, has been undeniably frustrating and it's time to be something more than just a ego-rising pet.

• I need to learn to say "no". I have to make my ideas and opinions 'important': not imposing them, but letting my friends know they exist and they are sometimes different than theirs.

• I'll have to find my own happiness! I can't depend on others just to stay alive, so I have to look for a way of happiness and entertainment that involves me, just me and only me.

• I have to get myself thinking "I'm worth it". It might seem silly, but I would really swear this problem comes from my lack of self esteem, so I should focus on it!

• Not make any resolutions! The easiest way of success is not thinking about it, and having plenty of things to do is quite depressing...

• So the best way to do this is relaxing, taking a deep breath and taking a long look at my capacities. That way I'll know what I can want myself to do and what I'll have to admit I can't. If I expect too much from me, probably I will get positively ambitious... and probably I'll just want to give up on absolutely everything in life, so it'll be much better to take it easy and do what I can do!

• Maybe being ambitious is way better than taking it easy! I think I'd maybe get some more goals: impossible ones, hard ones, challenging ones; of course! And if I fail, I will try another!

• Even better: accept "impossible" resolutions to find other ones in the way!